What They Really Think

I don’t know where it originated (though I’m sure my mom would be happy to take credit) but I’ve heard that women think of their home as an extension of themselves.  That’s why women generally are very sensitive to what their surroundings look like as well as how others perceive their dwelling.  Most women are probably secretly thrilled when another compliments, “Your home is lovely!” or “I just adore your style!”  I’m not gonna lie:  most days I wish that were me but in reality, I’m well aware that the house isn’t quite there yet.  Close, but not quite.

Living here the past several years, I’ve developed quite the calloused skin to what people say.  Some are literally out of the mouths of babes (You want honesty?  Ask a child!).  Other comments are from rather unscrupulous individuals who have probably never known a day’s want in their lives.  Fortunately, I’m able to laugh them off and I glean some wonderful stories to share.
I won’t bother identifying anyone who’s being quoted beneath–I’m sure they’ve either forgotten they ever said it or would be mortified to realize they did.  Either way, here are some of the most memorable things people have said to me concerning my house.

“It looks like someone was murdered here.”

“Your house creeps me out.”

“Can I burn it down?”

Source

“Were you hoping for a tornado to hit it last night?  Then you could have collected the insurance money and built a new house.”

“If it were me, I would have bulldozed it down and started from scratch.”

“Your house is ugly.”

“You’re going to stay in an apartment?  That’ll be a nice break from your house.”

“Is your house haunted?” 

I’m like any ‘normal’ woman and tend to feel like the house reflects who I am which is apparently a crazy, murderous, disheveled witch/bag lady in the middle of one of those extreme makeovers where you undergo rhinoplasty and get veneer teeth and have your eyebrows lifted to your hairline.  I think she’s probably a good representation: